


Bent, Betrayed, and Broken (but not ruined)

by Iamprongsie



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Betrayal, Episode: s02e08 Blood Sisters, F/F, Gen, Mild Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-29
Updated: 2020-08-29
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:27:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26174944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iamprongsie/pseuds/Iamprongsie
Summary: She finds Sabine in the empty galley, holding a mug of tea and looking lost. Ahsoka doesn't know what to say at first - Jedi were taught to reject or suppress all emotions, to belong to the Force and the Force only. Even though she hasn’t been a Jedi for at least a decade, and though she’d grated against their philosophies at the best of times, that lesson’s stuck with her.
Relationships: Ahsoka Tano & Sabine Wren, Barriss Offee/Ahsoka Tano (past), Kaeden Larte/Ahsoka Tano, Ketsu Onyo/Sabine Wren
Comments: 3
Kudos: 50





	Bent, Betrayed, and Broken (but not ruined)

The air on the _Ghost_ feels like you could cut it with a lightsaber. Ahsoka probably could, as well - the _Ghost_ is usually filled with light and laughter, not the pain that the air’s currently imbued with. The mission to Garel had been a success, but Hera had still asked her to talk to Sabine. 

She finds her in the empty galley, holding a mug of tea and looking lost. The Force trembles around her, almost creating a nexus. No wonder everyone deserted the ship as soon as the debrief was over. Ahsoka doesn’t know what to say at first - Jedi were taught to reject or suppress all emotions, to belong to the Force and the Force only. Even though she hasn’t been a Jedi for at least a decade, and though she’d grated against their philosophies at the best of times, that lesson’s stuck with her. Emotions were to be recognised and passed into the Force, not brooded upon and turned into the dark side. 

She shoves Obi-Wan’s voice into the back of her mind and continues into the room, sitting down across the table from Sabine.

“Are you alright?” Ahsoka asks, bracing herself - experience has taught her that Mandalorians are usually heavily armed at all times and don’t take kindly to surprises. 

“Yeah… yeah. I’m fine. I think.” Sabine pauses, voice shaking. She looks like she’s about to bolt. “I don’t know,” she says. Her face crumples, and her hands tighten on the mug. Ahsoka eyes it warily. 

“I heard about what happened at Garel,” she says, and Sabine breaks down into tears. 

“I loved her,” she sobs. “I love her and she left me for dead and I don’t know what to _think_ or _do_ , because she betrayed me!”

Ahsoka’s heart breaks for her - this is all too familiar, and she pushes down on the painful memories of diamond tattoos, a shy smile, kisses stolen in the dark. 

“I told her I forgave her,” Sabine continues. “I still trust her, I think. But she almost did it again! She left me in that ship with the droids and I thought I was going to die, but she came back. She could have left me there and taken the droids and I don’t even know what to think anymore. Do I still love her? _Can_ I still love her?”

Ahsoka gets up and makes herself a mug of tea, then sits back down next to Sabine. She pours a shot or two into her mug - she absolutely doesn’t want to be sober for this story. 

“Y’know,” she muses, taking a sip. “Back in the war, I had a friend too.”

“Weren’t the Jedi not allowed attachments?” Sabine asks. “No dating?”

Ahsoka laughs weakly. “It was wartime, everyone turned a blind eye. My master was married, and I know he and Master Kenobi had something. The council just let it sit - we were all stressed and tired, and whatever made the next day bearable was allowed to just be.” She takes a deep drink from her mug, the sweetness of the tea overpowered by the crap alcohol (Phoenix squadron brewed it in their A-wing hangar - with liberal advice from Gregor, because old habits die hard). “The point is, I fell in love.”

Sabine’s expression melts, and Ahsoka knows that the younger girl knows almost exactly what went down in the last fateful days of her time in the Order. 

“What was her name?”

“Her name was Barriss, and she was a healer,” she replies, tears springing to her eyes. “She was my opposite - I didn’t like fighting but I was good at it. She’d patched up too many clones to ever support the war.”

“Did she die?”

Ahsoka looks into her mug, swirling the contents around. “I hate to say this, but I think it might have been better if she did.”

“I can relate to that.” There’s no small amount of guilt in Sabine’s voice, but as Ahsoka looks up out of her mug Sabine waves her on and asks her to continue the story. 

“It happened on my last mission, to Cato Neimoidia. While we were gone the Temple had been bombed, and we were called back to investigate. We found out it was nano-droids rigged to explode hidden in someone’s food, which led us to an unwitting walking bomb and a suspect. Anakin arrested her and I was visiting her after the cleanup when she was killed - she was muttering about a Jedi and looking scared.” She has to pause a moment to collect her thoughts. The scene sometimes still visits her when she closes her eyes, even though almost twenty years of horrors have given her enough nightmare fuel for centuries. “She was force choked to death.”

Sabine gasps. 

“I tried to help her,” Ahsoka continues, pushing through the painful memory. “It ended up incriminating me, and then she died and I was arrested for the bombing of the Temple and her murder.”

“Where does Barriss fit in?” Sabine is confused; Ahsoka can feel it in the force. But it’s better than the roiling anger and betrayal the Mandalorian had been feeling. 

“She helped me escape,” Ahsoka says, taking another sip of her tea. “I went on the run, with half of my men and my master, as well as the 104th and the Coruscant Guard after me. A bounty hunter named Ventress helped me escape and then someone with her sabers attacked me, letting Wolffe and some of the 104th bring me in for trial. I was found guilty, until Anakin rushed in with Barriss. She set the bomb, framed me, got me expelled, nearly killed.” Her voice turns bitter and she drums her fingers on the table restlessly as Sabine takes in the new information. 

“Did the Order take you back?” she asks, voice soft like she’s stepping on eggshells. 

“They tried to. But they’d just dumped me and left me to the Republic when I was framed, and they’d betrayed me just as much as Barriss did. I walked away, and I think that’s what saved my life.”

“Because of Order 66? You weren’t a Jedi so the clones didn’t attack you?”

Ahsoka hesitates. “They did attack me, but Rex hesitated when he got the order. That’s what kept me alive until I could get his chip out and we could escape. But I’d learnt so much about the world outside the Temple because I left. That helped me survive under the Empire - I have no doubt I would’ve died if I stayed a Jedi.”

“Did you ever see her again?” Sabine asks. Ahsoka shakes her head. 

“I have reason to believe she became an inquisitor,” she says carefully. “She might have been the one to kill Master Unduli, her Master. I never properly found out, and none of the clones we picked up from the 41st could say what happened to her.” 

“That’s really sad,” Sabine says, still holding her mug. 

Ahsoka smiles wryly. “It taught me a lot, though,” she says. “It taught me to survive, and in a way it lessened the blow when I found out about Anakin. I figured if the people I love could commit such terrible acts, who’s to say the rest of the galaxy wouldn’t be worse? You’ve been hurt, Sabine, and you’ve had your trust violated. It’s natural to feel like this. And it does pass, I promise.”

Sabine smiles softly, tears threatening to roll down her cheeks. “I know it will,” she says. “And I still do love her.” Ahsoka puts her arm around her, and she immediately bursts into tears. Ahsoka soothes her, the familiar motions bringing back memories of the Fardi kids and Miara, back when she was younger on Alderaan. It even brings back memories of comforting Kaeden after a nightmare, soothing her wife in the early hours of the morning. 

“Look at it this way,” Ahsoka says gently as Sabine’s crying eases. “If Ketsu hadn’t left you, would you have found your way to the _Ghost_?” Sabine shakes her head. 

“You’re right,” she says. “If she hadn’t left me, I wouldn’t have the family I do now.”

“With your tired parents, weird uncle, annoying little brother, and cool aunt?” Ahsoka asks, and Sabine giggles. “You’re gonna be alright, kid. It hurts, but it’ll pass. I promise.” 

Sabine nods, and finishes her tea. “Thanks for talking,” she says, and Ahsoka smiles. 

“Anytime, Sabine.”

**Author's Note:**

> I found this in the depths of my 2018 wip doc and thought I'd clean it up to show that I'm still alive and writing! Uni's heating up (I have assignments due I should be working on whoops) so I might not be able to finish aatsts anytime soon and new modern au fics are on halt until I iron out some more details in this au, sorry for the wait!
> 
> anyway, you can find me at my [tumblr!](http://www.pidgeonkatie.tumblr.com), come say hi! I accept fic requests!   
> feel free to leave a comment or a kudos as well!!


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